The Victorian Era came with calling cards to introduce yourself to your host. The closest thing we have to do that today is business cards but we are talking social not business here.

In those days, people would be properly announced when entering the home of the host and hostess of a dinner party. Gone too, are the Victorian dinner party etiquette manuals for hosting or attending such a dinner. Granted, those days had butlers and one spoke delicately about domestic solicitude, and when the servers took away plates and such, they moved as if they were wearing soft ballet shoes, so light was their touch and attitude as they moved noiselessly about. Guests on the other hand basically pretended that the domestics were not even there.

Today, the emphasis is no longer on the pretentiousness of the Victorian era, but rather making sure that both guests and hosts are relaxed, and that they enjoy each other, without interruptions by graceless and boorish behavior. This means that etiquette is still around but do know that good manners are still in fashion.

The necessity for inviting guests to a dinner party used to require that they were engraved on beautiful stationary and hand delivered by a servant. For a guest to respond to the invitation it was required that you respond immediately to the host with a formal response as well. Today we do not require that level of formality for anything other than a wedding or other formal affair but that does not mean that we have been reduced to the lack of consideration by using email for our invitations either.

It was customary to dress in your finest during Victorian times, but now, many dinner party invitations now stipulate a more relaxed atmosphere and may say that it is casual dress. We have retained, though, the etiquette that one should never dress in a manner that one ups ones host or hostess.

Good manners, also means that an invitation to a dinner party usually requires that you will give the hosts a small gift, such as flowers, or wine. Too, you will show up on time, not overly early, nor any later than ten minutes or so. Men should still seat their lady. Good manners also dictate that you use your napkin properly, and allowing the hosts to begin the meal by unfolding their napkin still signals that the meal has begun.

The act of a man standing when a lady rises from the table is not an outdated custom and still considered polite today. An area of custom that was never part of the etiquette rules are how we address technology. When entering a host’s home it is polite to turn off your ringer of all cell phones and only accept emergency phone calls. If you are expecting a potential emergency call it is polite to inform your host upon your arrival. Keeping your phone on vibrate in case of potential issues with babysitters is acceptable but keep in mind that should a call come in during your dinner party you are required to excuse yourself to a private location and not take the call in the presence of others.

Hosts need to be as ready as possible, anticipating that the food service will be taken care of properly, and if you need to adjust whats being served for special diets, do it graciously. Neither host nor guest should ever drink to excess.

Everyone commits a social blunder or faux pas every once in awhile. The trick when an error occurs is not to allow it to ruffle your feathers but instead make amends quickly and then move on with the occassion. Maintaining good manners as a guest will ensure that your social calendar is constantly being added to and you can enjoy all social occasions without any stress or worry.